I am a huge Sex and the City fan, I will admit that, despite protests from my mom "Those women are a bunch of sluts!" But how can you not relate to at least something from Samantha, Carrie, Charlotte, and Miranda? Although my social and financial situations are extremely different (I could never afford a $700 pair of Manolo's, I prefer deals at Payless). Nor do I sip Cosmo's at exclusive after parties. (A PBR will do just fine at my local diving hole) Our romantic take on things isn't that far off...
Lately I've been struggling with the fact that I'm turning 30 soon, and I can't but help look back on the past decade and think, what went wrong? Or what went right? Is this where I'm suppose to be at 30? Did I do everything I could have done?
I never had a concrete plan on my what I would do in my life, or where I'll be in 10 years. I kind of just let life take me by the reigns and guide me. Not that I regret a lot of things, I've definitely had some interesting experiences to say the least. I am proud to say that I'm a beauty school drop out, produced fashion shows, trimmed medical marijuana in northern California, taught English as a second language in Panama, (I failed English my senior year of high school and had to go to summer school to graduate), got tattoos completely drunk, cut my leg terribly trying to jump a fence to get backstage at a Poison concert. I've been in love, and had my heartbroken many a times. And now I try and look forward and wonder if I really know myself? I've been so busy unraveled with the ebbs and flow of life I never really got to take a moment and just be. I'm not trying to get all sentimental and analytical about things.
Five months ago after a terrible breakup I caught my mom watching Sex and the City. She looked at me embarrassed, and then shrugged. "What I can't help myself." I think it helped her in some way cope with her current or lack there of romantic situation. It was the first time in awhile I had seen her smile, and I think made her realize she wasn't alone.
After a difficult past few weeks in my "romantic life" I lugged some things back to my mom's house and she ran up to me, reading a quote she scribbled on the back of an envelope.
"Its from Sex and the City, I thought this might help you" I rolled my eyes
"Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous." - Carrie Bradshaw
A failed relationship doesn't determine our self-worth, or make us less-than. Sure it makes us sad, dreary, and somehow extremely attracted to sweatpants and Ben & Jerry's. But it doesn't define us or who we are.
"Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate. Without them, what would shape our lives? Perhaps if we never veered off course, we wouldn’t fall in love, or have babies, or be who we are. After all, seasons change. So do cities. People come into your life and people go. But it’s comforting to know the ones you love are always in your heart. And if you’re very lucky, a plane ride away." - Carrie Bradshaw
3 comments:
so many people will relate to this post! gah!
i am 41 and single, never been married, no kids, blah blah blah. i had a gnarly break up two years and it took me 4EVER to get over that mess. i am skittish about the man/relationship thang like you cannot even believe, but giving a new dude a chance. a lot of me feels like i am making a mistake by giving him that chance, but whaddya gonna do. give someone a chance or give no-one a chance? one thing leaves you vulnerable, and the other thing leaves you alone and possibly miserable. not such great choices, but such is live.
three cheers for the 30's (you lucky thing!) and for all the adventures you can get into. and may the right kind of love fall in to your lap (LITERALLY! L O L) soon! :)
Well said, Becky.
Girl! I am a beauty school drop out too! Not only one, but twice. I went back because I wast turning 30 and I was pissed at myself for leaving and working a crappy job. I thought, I could go do hair cuz its easy and its in an industry I am semi interested in. NOT! Nothing is easy if you don't want to do it or can give a crap less about it.
30 was weird. I thought i had to own a house, pop out kids, dress like a grandma and my vajayjay was going to dry up.
I also thought. Shit , I won't be able to blame my idiotic mistakes on my 20's anymore "Im only 29, what do I know!" HA!
Once you turn 30 its like a threshold of not doing stupid stuff anymore. NOT , again!
I am having as much fun, doing lame shit and laughing a ton! Only difference is , that I am in my 30's. And my saturn return has granted me alot of opportunity.
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