I had just came to a sad, scary, and kind of disgusting realization the other day. I had been wearing the same pair of sweatpants for 2 weeks straight. (Not at work unfortunately, but if I could, you better believe I would) Wait that's not all, this gets better, waaaaayyy better... my personal hygiene has been seriously lacking, I spent Sunday afternoon watching a 4 hour COPS marathon, and I don't even know if I still remember even how to open a tube of mascara. OK, maybe I'm being over dramatic...
When I first started this blog it was suppose to be a fashion blog, (and it still kind of is) but I quickly realized there were over 20,000 other fashion blogs out there that were way, way better than mine... I felt I couldn't compete, or was not good enough and came up with the usual mindset of, I suck. So I contemplated just giving up and going my familiar route when things don't seem easy. Quit.
Then I got a comment on one of my posts... I know it doesn't seem like much, but I was estactic. Someone actually out there took time to read my post and had a positive comment. And it was a post where I was just being me, something that had made me laugh and thought I should share. And it wasn't my Mom. From then on I just said "fuck it" and started writing and posting what interested me. Whether it be amazing couture collections from the runways in Paris, shitty tattoos, my favorite movies, super cool chicks that catch my attention, or whatever came to mind that day. It was me being, well me. Then I started to get followers,which I was amazed at. People actually liked coming to my blog and reading my ramblings.... Wow. I realized I needed to give myself more credit. I was good enough. And why did I ever think I wasn't? And who exactly am I trying to impress anyways? Why I need to constantly compare myself to others? Why do I feel the need to compete? The answer is simple. I don't need to do any of those things.
Putting yourself out there whether it be pictures of you or a blog for the world or cyber world to see is a big deal, well at least for me it is. When you're vulnerable and open your thoughts and feelings your subjected to rejection, judgment, negative comments, and people "GASP" not liking you. Which use to be, sadly, my biggest fears. Yes you never know who is on the other end of that keyboard (I just saw that documentary Catfish... freaky). BUT.. you are also putting yourself out there for positive comments, new friends, ideas, and an endless array of cool shit that is now open to you that you have never experienced before, or experiencing again. You're taking a chance.
Oftentimes I find myself back in those sweatpants (like last week) over failure or something that didn't go as planned. That's OK. That doesn't matter, that's how I was feeling and we are ALL entitled to days like that. What matters is that we find that something, that thing that makes us want to take those nasty, yet so comfortable things off.
What makes me want to take off those sweatpants and peel myself off the couch? What makes me smile? What is it? It's quite simple. Being myself.
INSTEAD OF SAYING "OH GOD, I FAILED" INSTEAD I SAY "AT LEAST I TRIED.."
I'm not one to give advice or preach... but I can speak from my own experiences. Today is today and tomorrow is something new.
So I decided to take those funky sweatpants off, but them in the laundry pile and put on my black skinny jeans with leopard print 4" high heels (I'm 5'10). Let people ask me to get things off the high shelf for them at the grocery store. Go ahead.
So for my (56) followers. Thank you. A simple smile, comment or kind gesture really does make a persons day. It's the simple things in life that make me happy, really, sincerely and honestly. I am not trying to write a "self help book" (as that would be the worlds shortest book), because everyone has their own things that make them smile, or want to take those sweatpants off. It's just finding it and realizing that what makes you happy isn't that far out of reach and its probably right in front of you.